Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize