I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize