i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
