Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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