Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
