Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
