Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
