I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize