Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize