I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
