she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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