If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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