if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
