okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
