I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
