its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
