On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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