I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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