It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
