btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
