When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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