Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
