wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
