You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize