i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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