i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You dont lie about slip and slides
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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