I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
