i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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