i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
