fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
