I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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