awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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