you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
