Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
