My nipple is on Facebook.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
