Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
