I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
