Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
