I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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