the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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