are you still at the devil's house?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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