Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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