I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
