the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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