I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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