i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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