Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I skipped work to stalk him.

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(850): View more from Florida

Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

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(409): View more from Texas

well he's currently spooning the coffee table

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(254): View more from Texas

I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.

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(956): View more from Texas

Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush

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(630): View more from Illinois

Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.

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