I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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