eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
