Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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