I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
