k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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