I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
