i just google imaged poop.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
