Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
