I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
