; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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