I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
