So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
