Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Get your hand out of your ass!

(734): View more from Michigan

how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?

(650): View more from California

In your belly button

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(214): View more from Texas

I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse

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(314): View more from Missouri

Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.

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(571): View more from Virginia

I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.

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(518): View more from New York

I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.

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(637): View more from

I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night

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(858): View more from California

who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex

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(870): View more from Arkansas

THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!

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