Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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