turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
