I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
