u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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