But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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