My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize